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Born with a concealed weapon
November 2, 2007
At the expense of someone else, a gossip basks in the limelight. People seem to love hearing juicy tidbits about others. Just about anywhere people gather, someone is yakking it up while their audience soaks it in like some sick craving.
It’s difficult to stop gossip, because it is so easy to participate. Words are more effortless to use than any labor-saving device we own. They are easier than a toaster, the remote control and even those clapping on and off lights. But, once something has been said, it cannot be unsaid.
What can you do when a conversation turns rumor-ridden?
Since gossips usually claim to cherish the truth, tell of the truths you know. Don’t be afraid to say, “Well, I’ve known Paul for ten years and I’m sure he would never embezzle. You must have wrong information.” The gossip will probably throw you a snotty look for killing their buzz, but stand firm.
If you don’t know the rumor victim well enough to defend them or if you just don’t want the conversation to continue, change the subject quickly. You don’t need a segue. Changing the subject in an awkwardly abrupt manner gives the impression you are not naïve about such talk, and what’s more, you are socially mature. Let the group know you will not partake of their scandal-fest. If the trash talk continues, leave the room.
Don’t be fooled.
Gossips often start juicy conversation with openers such as: · I’m so concerned about so-and-so. I’ve heard that she… · I’m only telling you, because I thought you should know… · You know I’m not one to gossip, but I heard… · We should pray for her. I’ve heard...
Just because someone uses a disclaimer does not give them permission to spread rumors.
How do you know if you are the victim of gossip?
If you are in a group of people who routinely dish about others, your life is probably a hot topic, too. When gossip is tolerated in a group, no one is immune.
If normally friendly acquaintances start keeping their distance, you might suspect a nasty rumor as the reason.
What should you do if someone gossips about you?
Do not be associated with known gossips, but smile and be extremely pleasant. When you are nice to them, they will feel twinges of guilt for talking about you. Perhaps this will stop future talk.
Do not let your confidence rely on what others think of you. This will destroy your self-worth. Rise above their childish game. If people have time to slam other people, realize they do not have an interesting life of their own.
Most importantly, do not succumb to spreading tit-for-tat rumors. Guard your character. Pity the gossips.
Copyright 2007 Neighbors About Town
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We are born with obvious weapons such as fists for hitting and feet for kicking. But we also possess a concealed weapon. We never even had to register for it. It has the power to destroy marriages, businesses, friendships, churches and reputations. It’s the tongue. |